Stock art

Sometimes when I’m searching for an image for an ad, I come across photos like these that make me stare in awe and wonder, “what in the ever loving hell is going on here?” This is one of those photos.

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Gun safety

I’m reading a British newspaper online, and here’s a photo of a little girl saying goodbye to her soldier dad that would be really touching and sweet . . . if it didn’t look like he was about to shoot her. Gun safety, Brits, gun safety. Don’t point your machine gun at your 5-year-old.

You’d think some things would go without saying.

 

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What is the internet, anyway?

Looking up security cameras, and came across this wireless one. I dig the illustration of how the cameras communicate with the wireless router, but I really love it that the Internet is a puffy blue cloud. I thought it was a system of pipes or tubes or something?

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NJ/NYC Pizza Tour

Pizza is probably my favorite food, but that statement should not be misconstrued to imply that I'm some kind of gourmet snob. I will order Chanello's or Papa John's and I will love it. Pizza is just so versatile: it's like an edible plate. You can put pretty much any other food in the world on top of it, call it a "topping" rather than just some other random food, and the whole messy thing is still pizza.

When Aaron and I were going to hit up NJ and NYC to visit his relatives, I couldn't let the opportunity pass me by to catch some of what is supposedly the best pizza in the whole wide world. There are a LOT of opinions out there about who has the best pizza in the area (really, Google "best pizza in NJ" and see how many hits you get), so we went with a few of Aaron & family's favorite spots rather than try to get to every pizza joint that every foodie in Jersey declared the best. I was not disappointed. Blurry camera phone pix abound.

First stop was Pete & Elda's (which I kept calling Pete & Edna's) in Neptune.

I'm not a thin-crust fan, but Aaron swore this was the best, and I have to agree. It's almost cracker-crispy, and with a good crust-cheese-sauce ratio. They have a promotion where if you can eat an entire XX-Large pizza all by yourself, you get a free T-Shirt. Aaron has one such T-shirt. I elected not to try it. I did eat too much, though - eating too much became a real trend for me on this trip.

Contrary to what you might assume, thin-crust pizza will not make you thin.

Day 2, after a stroll on the Point Pleasant boardwalk, we hit Aaron's childhood fave: J&G. They opened the year he was born, and the original owner passed away last year. Now his son runs the place.

Fairly thin crust, though nowhere near as thin as Pete & Elda's (a.k.a. Edna's). Still, it was nice and crispy and yum. See, here's where I kinda wish I were a foodie, because I could describe to you the subtle nuances to the sauce and fresh mozzarella, like how much oregano or basil or whatever is in it. But I can't; all I can tell you is that it was good. God, I'm getting hungry writing this. We had plain slices wherever we went. Usually, I'd load down a pizza with some pepperoni, mushrooms, basil, artichokes, garlic, or whatever else struck me, but Aaron claims that to really taste-test pizza, you have to try their plain slice so it's an even comparison. Okay.

We made it into the city for a bit, and had a "snack" at a bakery called Bruno's. Bruno's made a cake for the Pope when he was in the city in '08. That's like making a cake for God. Judging by their creme brulee and pear caramel, they were up to the task.

On the night of day 2, we took a quick break from pizza to try out a place in Jersey City called Skinner's. It's actually Skinner's . . . something; I can't remember the second word. Loft, maybe? Whatever, it was delish. They had these sweet potato chips with a melted blue cheese dip that were so mind-bendingly good I'd drive back to Jersey City, through all the Turnpike tolls without an EZ Pass to have them again. Seriously, the Shangri-la of chips. Unfortunately, I have no picture of that because the lighting was too low in the place. But I did have to at least try to photograph dessert: mini-ice cream cones! They were so cute, that no picture could have done them justice, let alone this grainy, dark camera phone pic:

But I digress; we're here for pizza. Day 3 was in NYC, and we went to Lombardi's, which claims to be America's first pizzeria. I trust them. Their "plain" slice actually had tomato and basil, which added an extra special little kick. Ate too much again. Walked it off wandering around looking for a Path station.

If you'll permit me one more non-pizza entry, breakfast at some little Greek place in Astoria was incredible. Check this out:

It's a caramel and oreo cookie crepe. I swear. I gorged myself as though I'd been on a desert island and this was the first food I'd seen for months. I paid for it with a stomach ache from hell, but that's the price of caramel and oreos melted together, wrapped in a skinny pancake and topped off with whipped cream, powdered sugar and chocolate syrup, and it's worth it.

Back to the pizza. Sadly, we had to say goodbye to NY/NJ and make our way home, so pizza stop #4 was in Salisbury, MD at a place Aaron used to frequent when he was in college there: Cafe Milano. Interestingly, this Italian haven appears to be run by all Mexican people. Nothing wrong with that; I'm just saying.

Notice anything missing? Yeah, there's no plates. You get a high school cafeteria tray and a sheet of wax paper and you will LIKE IT. Actually, it was pretty good.

Thus ends the iron stomach marathon. There are more pix from the trip (some even feature subject matter other than food) on my facebook profile. Hopefully, you can see it if you click here. If not, uh, I don't know how else to link you to it. Frankly, Facebook confuses me.

Hope you enjoyed,

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Oh, forks

I'm finishing up some leftover fried seafood and pondering something. By and large, and there are exceptions to this rule, fried food is eaten with your hands, while the rest of the food groups are deemed utensil-worthy. Why? Think about it - you wouldn't just pick up a marinated, grilled chicken breast with your hands and chow down, right? (I'm assuming here.) But batter and deep-fry that thing and you can eat it with your hands out of a bucket. Not to mention you can get chicken in "finger" or "nugget" form.

Likewise, I'd like to think that you'd pick up a fork when dealing with a grilled fillet of salmon, but in fried stick form, fish is a perfectly acceptable finger food. Baked potato = fork; French fries or chips = dig in with dos manos. Does the deep-fried-ness somehow constitute a wrapper or carrying case of some kind?

You know what I'm surprised we don't see more of? Deep fried beef. Yes, there's chicken fried steak (which warrants a fork, but only, I presume, because there's gravy involved), but that's about it as far as I know. Where are the French fry-style beef strips? Beef nuggets? I guess "cow fingers" doesn't have quite the same ring to it as "chicken fingers," does it? Still, we're a nation that deep-fries Twinkies, for God's sake. How are we lagging so far behind in the fried beef category?

Unrelatedly, how much of a difference is there between "air-tight" and "water-tight"?
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I don't see no lettuce!

Man.

I really didn't think it was possible to make a taco salad less healthy than it inherently is, but our work cafeteria has found a way. Generally speaking, the work cafeteria taco salad is more like nachos on steroids - they don't use the little edible taco shell bowls; they use tortilla chips and pile on beef (or chicken, for the health nuts), lettuce, cheese, olives, peppers, onions, salsa, sometimes refried beans, and a huge dollop of sour cream. And I'm talking serious sour cream - they use an ice cream scoop to dish it out.

Today they ran out of tortilla chips, so instead they used (drumroll, please) Doritos. Seriously, there's an entire snack-size bag of Doritos in my "salad" right now. They mingle pretty nicely with the ice cream scoop-size mounds of sour cream and ground beef. I think I'll go have a heart attack now. Good thing I did some yoga this morning. Yeah, I'm sure 20 minutes of bending and stretching was more than enough to offset a Dorito-and-beef-based monstrosity of this magnitude.

Oh, and if you didn't get the title "I don't see no lettuce!" then feast your eyes and ears upon this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zu3Ls4guf-s

Happy (belated) snow day

This little guy awaited me when I walked into work yesterday:



Someone took the time during the crap weather to make a little snow dude on top of a trash can beside the VeeP building. That's a little soda bottle cap for a hat he's got there and berries from a nearby tree for eyes. That warmed my heart a bit, even if the weather sucked and I was sick enough that I didn't even make it through the whole work day before I had to go home and crash on my futon. Still, the little snow dude made it all worthwhile. It's the little things.
Incidentally - on a cold, crap day, Trader Joes "Organic" Ruby Red Chai tea is magically delicious, even though it involves my new pet peeve word - "organic". Dunno why, but that word just gets on my nerves lately. Like it so effin matters that your teabag is organic.
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